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Pee Wee Takes Manhattan

The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Broadway where Pee Wee Herman is making his New York debut at the Stephen Sondheim Theater providing us an intimate visit to the playhouse. Thank God they have a basement. But no need to worry if you miss it because it’ll soon be on HBO in the comfort of your toasty home rather than in an ice box.

The choreography between Pee Wee and the live puppets is action packed! And way better than Avenue Q. Paul Rubens, who hasn’t aged a day, is still our inner child, now and forever, reacquainting us with irreverent politico jokes and jack off jokes. So it only makes sense that the audience comprised of a crowd of 40 year olds.

Pee Wee may be a loner, a rebel and a guy not to get mixed up with but after all these years we still want to come over and play. Also CGI is nothing compared to the awesomeness of the Pee Wee magnets that I got. Infinity.

 

 

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Shia transformers hand.

 

“Talent is funny, I’ve always looked at talent like what the hell does talent really mean? Talent is to actors what luck is to card players. It’s not really anything, it’s just a fictitious word that people have created and labeled things. Talent is like you know I never really believed in talent, I believed in drive and determination and preparation but talent is sort of like luck. I wouldn’t want to think of myself as talented it doesn’t seem like there’s any validity in that. I like to think of myself as an ordinary man with extra ordinary determination. That’s it.” – Shia LaBeouf

 

When Spielberg and Lucas are not busy counting their box office returns and tinkering and tampering (CGI) with their movies from the glory days of the 70’s and 80’s so as to repackage them for the latest video format, Shia Labeouf, their latest protege and possibly every nerdy directors alter-ego, is being touted and featured in every one their projects. From Indy to Transformers, to Disturbia and the upcoming Eagle Eye audiences continue to suffer as they are force fed this ass clown.

In Hebrew Shia means a gift from God, and if God don’t play dice at least he has a cruel sense of humor. Hollywood’s latest bad boy or “wild one” recently cemented his persona once more by rolling his pick-up truck at 3 A.M. in West Hollywood resulting in a DUI and second arrest while suffering a crushed hand. According to reports his hand will never fully recover but hopefully, like Harold Lloyd, his comedic talents will not be diminished. Though he has referred to Dustin Hoffman, Jodie Foster, Jon Voight and John Turturro as inspirations, so far only Brando and Jimmy Stewart have been the latest victims to be bestowed upon and disgraced.

 

 

Besides his hand, the accidents only casualty were his decorative toilet seats that were strewn about the boulevard. These being the only artistic contribution that has any merit from Shia – most likely where his “talent” and career is heading.

 

Shia LaButt

 

After Hillary Duff, Raven Symone, Miley Cyrus, The Cheetah Girls, The Jonas Brothers and the High School Musical clan one wonders how many more of these child stars can the Disney Channel continue to plague us with?

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