Tag Archives: damon lindelof

Tribbles with Star Trek

star trek into darkness

So I’m super pissed that I wasn’t able to see Star Trek Into Darkness in IMAX 3D because some wankers at the AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 Theater are fucking idiots about the presale for tickets, and for some fucking reason were only allowing pre-purchase for opening night a week before but not the following days. Or so I was told. But like Obi Wan says, “Who’s more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows it?” And that’s why he was Jedi Master and I’m just a Trekkie.

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First thing’s last, after they wheel in the parade of planet title cards accompanied by the original tv series theme song, the filmmakers soberly want to remind us that “This film is dedicated to our post-9/11 veterans” – which is like…the ultimate buzzkill. Now don’t me wrong, I support our troops (and what U.S. citizen in their right mind wouldn’t say that considering Obama’s NDAA law?), but are we to assume that the covert militarization of Starfleet in Star Trek Into Darkness is an overt analogy to our current military-industrial complex that permeates the underbelly from within the darkest corridors of the Pentagon, all the way down to the attendant in the White House bathroom? I guess that small dose of gooey substance capable of forming a black hole when ignited known as “Red Matter” in Star Trek isn’t as chilling as the 72 WMDs with cryogenically frozen comrades in photon-torpedo capsules. I mean, I of course immediately drew comparison with all the other liberals, lefty’s, and conspiracy theorists to those $12 million pricetag for a single drone which the U.S. currently uses in preemptive strikes against terrorist countries. Only the big difference in Trek, is that the drones aren’t unmanned and instead contain super humans that when defrosted kick fucking ass and make Major T.J. Kong look like a fucking light weight! As for the Red Matter, that’s another matter. That being said, director J.J. Abrams and writers solidify why they are the the nerd kings of soap opera tv shows.

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And with that, every character cried, even Khan. I sure hope Spock breaks up with Uhura in the next one so that I won’t have to cry anymore over their touching devotion to each other. Thank God for Benedict Cumberbatch’s nefarious portrayal of Khan and Simon Pegg’s comedic timing – from being startled by fish, to running like fatboy to save his mates. But the biggest laugh for me was when Spock screams, “KHAN!” Which is also a slap in the face to Shatner who’s again left out of the party. Why can’t anyone just come clean and tell him that he looks nothing like Chris Pine? Alternate universe or not that just won’t fly.

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star trek into darkness

Speaking of alternate universes, as much as I loved J.J.’s take on Star Trek I can’t help but have ominous feelings towards his undertaking of reviving the Star Wars franchise because that’s in another galaxy far, far, away…

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star trek into darkness

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Prometheus vs. Nostromo

Until a recent Google search of Greek Mythology I never knew that Aristophanes coined the phrase “pedagogic pederasty” or to use the parlance of our times, “doing it the Greek way.” I also discovered that “Prometheus” is a: “Titan, culture hero, and trickster figure who is credited with the creation of man from clay and the theft of fire for human use, an act that enabled progress and civilization. He is known for his intelligence, and as a champion of mankind.” Whereas the spaceship in Alien, Nostromo, means “shipmate” in Italian. Therein lies the idealogical difference between then and this new lofty prequel, Prometheus. Truck Drivers in space vs. Theologians in space, Horror vs. Sci-fi, or Sigourney vs. Noomi. And even though Prometheus should be compared on it’s own merits the similarities are so similar that it is seemingly obvious that it was by the same director, Ridley Scott. That said, I wish this movie was even longer than it’s 2 1/2 hour running time because I was totally into this flick and wanted to know more about these one dimensional characters in this H.R. Giger world.

Starting with Noomi Rapace, with her ripped abs and an unperturbed voice, who unlike all these other butch damsel heroes still retains her femininity. Sparking interest from Michael Fassbender, an Android as androgynous as David Bowie, but comes off more human and a lot like some people I know – backstabbing pompous know-it-alls.

Once again, my favorite Charlize Theron puts in another killer cold bitch performance to the point where one suspects she’s a fucking Android too. That is, until you find out she’s the Daughter of raisin faced Guy Pearce, who is wasted under prosthetics and make up. They should of just casted a real old man on his last legs, like Kirk Douglas or Fidel Castro. As for the rest of the crew – they were either Geologist, Biologist, Engineers, or just plain Alien bait.

But the real bait is how Ridley and the writers coax you into thinking that this quest for Man’s origin will be revelatory, stemming from and enticing you with identical patterns of planets imbedded in ancient cave paintings and scriptures. But the only revelation is a possibility of another sequel in which Lost writer, Damon Lindelof, will have to come up with an explanation more absurd then that stupid fucking show or Cowboys vs. Aliens. Unless of course they abstract out like 2001: A Space Odyssey. So if there is sequel trying to explain shit it might just completely negate the power of this film. Me, I’m sticking with Darwin in that we spawned from fucking monkeys.

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