Tag Archives: christoph waltz

Cobbler Cooties

I’ve been racking my brain trying to see if there is a correlation between Roman Polanski’s current legal troubles to the possible motives of making a film adaptation of Yasmina Reza’s hit Broadway play, Carnage. Unfortunately the only thing I could come up with is, maybe Roman was under house arrest and couldn’t venture far and was limited to a one room set?

Within the confines of this set – an upscale Brooklyn apartment with light and views, are two married couples that discuss an altercation between their 11 year old boys that occurred in the local playground resulting in a boy losing two teeth from a wielding stick with the hopeful outcome in some kind of reconciliation and apology. It’s a relief to see John C. Reilly return to his theater roots instead of being reduced to a goofy Will Farrell side kick, and Jodie Foster, an unstable mess when compared to her typical butch lezbo roles. Christoph Waltz coming off a remarkable run of movies still can’t shake off that accent trapped within the body of a busy NYC attorney with his wife, Kate Winslet, who upstages everybody by upchucking cold cobbler.

So if you’re in mood for watching a bunch of hypocritical artsy liberals and professional corporate assholes getting drunk one afternoon, only to expose an adult version of Lord of the Flies and the less nuance of Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf? then Carnage might just an ideal alternative to those action packed Batman movies.

“Too many people going underground, too many reaching for a piece of cake!” – Paul McCartney

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December 24, 2011 · 9:42 pm

Inglouriuos Basterds Revolution #9

Inglourious Bastards Poster

in·glo·ri·ous – not glorious : lacking fame or honor

bas·tard – an offensive or disagreeable person

Quentin Tarantino’s latest movie, Inglourious Basterds, makes the Sharon Tate murders look like a baby shower. At least Manson’s vision was more articulate and more inspired (The White Album), whereas Tarantino’s massacre is just a Leonesque like retribution that lacks catharsis with a lame rehashed soundtrack.

While Hebrew law in the Old Testament states, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” I’m pretty sure God didn’t have an overgrown self proclaimed provocateur and teenage movie geek in mind to show them the promise land while scalping Nazi’s. Given that Tarantino is part Cherokee I wonder if an Indian made a Western revisionist movie about some tribe assassinating Lincoln in a balcony box theater and burning down the White House (given the cruel treatment and injustice they suffered from all our robbing, raping, and pillaging) that it would be widely celebrated in Iraq and Afghanistan…and parts of Pakistan…basically the whole Muslim culture including Cat Stevens. Anyway, Americans have a word for that and that’s the discovery of the New World. Jews call it the Holocaust, Manson calls it Helter Skelter and Tarantino calls it Inglourious Basterds. Ghandi warns, “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind”…something clearly Tarantino and cohorts do not adhere to. But neither did Charlie’s.


Though I must admit the most villainous character of the Nazis, The “Jew Hunter,” Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) was quite affective in making Major Strasser from Casablanca look as harmless as the Crocodile Hunter (maybe it’s all that milk). I also enjoyed Brad Pitt’s Lt. Aldo Raine’s Southern inflection of the way he pronounced “Nazi.” I wonder if Born again Christian Tex Watson had the same dialect when selling pigs wigs. The film debut of Melanie Laurent, who plays the sole surviving family member that fled from Col. Landa’s clutches, is subjected to the worst trivial getting dressed to kill montage accompanied with Bowie’s Cat People (Putting Out Fire) (whoa, irony!) but otherwise is very good as an Anne Frank type gone postal. While the rest of the Basterds rumor a threat with nicknames such as “Bear Jew” and “Little Man” none are as intimidating as the  posing sweet Sexy Sadie, Squeaky, Clem, LuLu, and JC.

Inglourious Bastards CastManson Family

I am curious to know what drugs Tarantino used vs. this hippie gang bang. With the script’s inconsistent intro flashbacks, repetitious dialogue and slow motion sequences adding minutes lasting hours I wonder if it was just an Adderall overdose.

Charles Manson

Now there’s a masterpiece.

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