The Girl with No IKEA Furniture

A little known fact, like the Coen Bros’ Fargo not being based on a true story as stated in the opening credits, David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is based on the bestselling international novel published posthumously by Steig Larsson, of which a Swedish movie version was already made in 2009. To draw comparisons to both would likely cause the reader to become confused and futile. So I’ll just stick with this movie at hand and review it on it’s own fucking terms! I mean nobody gives a hoot about how the numerous movie versions bastardized the novels like Great Expectations, The Great Gatsby, or A Christmas Carol and yet I feel that this movie is being scrutinized with higher standards – the ironic thing being that the novel with that ugly neon yellow cover really does suck to start. Keeping all that in mind I came out placing it in this year’s number two spot.

And it’s Fincher’s shooting and editing style that raises this silly sordid plot that is mired in well worn cliches and twists but still maintains a panache for the mystery thriller genre. Plus the fact that Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara make a very riveting dynamic duo investigating the disappearance of a girl 36 years ago from a secluded island of a dysfunctional Nazi sympathizing family filled with dark secrets. But what is not a secret is that Rooney Mara really did get her nipples pierced for the role because at every press junket some dimwitted so called “journalist” first question is about this. Sorta like how they all ask Tom Cruise if he does his own stunts.

From the opening James Bond credits through the grotesque rape scenes that seem to have all the critics in a tizzy, I was completely mesmerized in the Blow Up photo mystery, drawing me deeper into an obsidian oblivion only to later discover that Swedes just have a fondness for incest molestation and extreme abuse I guess. Maybe if they had Blu Ray on their island they could just watch Fincher movies instead of having to get off themselves. But as much as I enjoyed the movie I just don’t think I could stomach a sequel, let alone a trilogy, even if David is in the directors chair again because personally I found the dragon tattoo gal a bit too implausible to sustain my interest and as disposable as H&M’s cheap ass clothes.


December 25, 2011 · 8:17 pm

2 responses to “The Girl with No IKEA Furniture

  1. Pingback: 2011 “Winning” 5 | Video Killed the Movie Stars

  2. I get the feeling that this vid was more enntrtaieing than the actual movie. And the fact that Social Network won an oscar for something just proves to me that it was over-hyped garbage.

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