Monthly Archives: May 2009

Star Trek Stuns & Spock’s Tractor Beam Stupefies

Enterprise

On a Thursday opening night at the IMAX who’d of thought there would be so many slackers like me with nothing better to do than stand on line two hours before showtime? Or should I say, Trekkies and Geeks with B.O.

IMAX Trekkie

I must admit I wanted one of them Vulcan hands too and was sorry to see no one with Klingon ears, but for once, not sorry to see the movie! Though there is nothing original about this version of Trek, it somehow bridges the gap from fans of the Original Series thereby nullifying nerds of the New Generation‘s Deep Space Nine as well as renewing the Trek franchise. But what’s scary about where this ship is heading is, J. J. Abrams, who is at the helm. While I do give him props for the casting of the crew, especially my fave Simon Pegg as Scottie and an uncanny Spock, who like from the original series, was the heart and soul.

Spock(and yes, that’s his real nose.)

But what’s disconcerting this time around is that he may have too much heart as the man who wrote Regarding Henry, turns Spock into a pussy whipped softy.  Don’t get me wrong, but I preferred the latent homo relationship between Spock and Kirk rather than Spock and some chippie Communication Officer. I may be bitter but even Nerds who’ve never scored tail must find the notion of Spock getting some disturbing – for it is his cold caculated personality and not his Alpha Galactic quadrant that we find so charming and relate to. Still, at least Trekkies can fall back on the ultimate geek fantasy of saving the earth from impending doom, time travel, and shagging a green girl. But if you think Spock’s mojo hits a sour note, wait til you get a load of these phasers! Talk about cracker jack water pistols. Forget about trying to set them on stun. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Now that’s sticking to the original.

Besides phasers, the only other major flaw is the  hour long wait to introduce Simon Pegg (who successfully bounces back from Run, Fat Boy, Run) as the only real comic relief. But the Star Trek movie remains credible with Leonard Nimoy, reprising his iconic role by keeping it real compared to the spokesman for Priceline.com piece of Shat, Kirk.Leonard Nimoy

So I must admit defeat of yet another Hollywood pop culture blockbuster that leaves me wanting and waiting for more. Touche J. J. Abrams, perhaps you are a bonafide geek and not just a some nepotistic untalented Barrymore.J J Abrams

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Wallace & Gromit Rise Again

A Matter Of Loaf And Death

“So that new W&G, I dunno… It had a huge number of awesome one liners, so script was all good, but I feel as if it was lacking something, maybe cause it was so fast paced” – Woody Roxon

After a winter hiatus, where the only thing newsworthy was how overrated Slumdog Millionaire was, finally something cracking has been released on the big screen. The long awaited fourth installment of Nick Parks’ Wallace & Gromit shorts, A Matter of Loaf and Death, though aired on Christmas for the BBC has finally been imported to the States. And boy, was it what I “kneaded”. Complete with a new business of inventions, contraptions, love interests, villains, puns and buns, Loaf does not disappoint as the lovable but dimwitted Wallace and his penchant for falling into trouble (love) is once again rescued by loyal dog, Gromit.

Wallace & Gromit Top Bun

From the beginning the structure parallels The Curse of the Were-Rabbit as the story is framed around a murder mystery with a “cereal killer” on the loose targeting bakers. Opening from the Killer’s point of view creeping up behind Baker Bob (also known as Bob Baker, Nick Park’s writing partner) greeting the camera only to be done in by a rolling pin. We are then reintroduced to Wallace & Gromit’s latest business venture, Dr. Atkin’s nemesis, Top Bun Baking “Dough to Door” delivery company. Although the pace is frenetic filled with clever gags and well done puns that all fall into place – such as a burnt slice of toast popping out of their car radio, the new twist this time around is Gromit’s love interest. And while she may have some hot cross buns when compared to Wallace’s homely hook ups I would think by now Gromit would know a bitch when he saw one.

Gromit & Fluffles

Curiously given the filmmakers recent split form Dreamworks you’d expect something less polished with more eccentric British wit and charm like their previous shorts instead of references to Jerry Zucker’s 1990 Ghost. Although a revisit to Wallace & Gromit will always be a positive refresher maybe this is where the problem may lie ahead in their future endeavors as we eagerly await the next Aardman feature film, hopefully not resorting to the same script formulae. This being my only criticism, lack of innovation, at least it’s not as lame, misguided and seriously irresponsible as this – Sourdough Rolls.

Piella & Fluffles

Stay tuned as we kick off this summer with Star Trek at the IMAX with some serious Trekkies.

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